The holidays are tough on those of us who have lost loved ones. The absence and memories of loved ones are strongly felt during holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. There are those who rather not celebrate the holidays as grief makes it harder for them to get through the absence of loved ones. If you can’t face the holidays, it’s okay to take a break from the holidays. Don’t feel guilty, if about skipping events, if it is too painful for you.
There are those who are strong enough to celebrate the holidays in their memories of lost loved ones. Remember that not everyone will be grieving the same way you are grieving. The way others will want to spend the holiday may not match how you want to spend the holiday.
Acknowledge that the holidays will be different and they will be tough. If you choose to hold the holidays in memories of loved ones that has passed on, you can create a new tradition in memory of them. Decide where you want to spend the holidays. It may be of comfort to keep it at the same location or you may want to switch it. Decide which traditions you want to keep or change. Either way, make conscious decisions about the location.
They are ways to celebrate the holidays in memories of loved ones that are no longer with us by honouring their memories. Such as: light a candle in your home in memory of the person you have lost. Put out old photo albums and spend some time on the holiday looking at photos. You could donate a holiday meal to a family in need through a local church, Salvation Army or department of social welfare. You could volunteer in your loved one’s memory.
Listen to yourself and do what works for you. Have a moment of silence during your holiday prayer or toast in memory of your loved one. The holiday can be hectic, make some quiet time for you, listen to music, etc. Remember, it’s okay to be happy. This doesn’t diminish how much you love and miss the person who isn’t there this holiday. Ignore those who want to tell you, what you “should” do for the holidays. Ignore those who tell you that you are crazy to talk to your loved ones that have passed on. Remember that it is okay to talk to them. You are not crazy to do so. You are expressing your emotions, thoughts and feelings.